Bias in us

Bias in Us

Lot of times we wonder why is our world not peaceful and why there is hatred, war, violence and why are people not happy with each other. I keep thinking about this a lot too and more so when I encounter bias or act with bias and then try to check myself. 

It is human nature may be to like people of our own kind. It is easier for us to accept people who are of the same skin color, same culture or same country or city. But again this cannot be generalized either. I have seen people from a single family, who cannot get along with each other. So we cannot say that this works in general. From what I have seen how much we see in common also varies depending on how broad our outlook or heart is. If we connect with people as just a human being may be there is lesser reason to act with any kind of bias. 

It is easier said and done to act without bias. Sometimes there are characteristic traits that are inherent in a particular race, or particular skin color or people of a particular country or city that cannot be ignored either. No one can be free from the influence of their culture, circumstances and upbringing. If we cannot accept that probably we should look for a common ground. It could just be knowing and sharing each others culture values. There is something common is all human beings. All of us are at least made by the same creator and if we believe God made us all, we must also agree he made us all different for a good reason. To breed hatred against a fellow human being is definitely not correct if we want to act as faithful, god loving or fearing human beings. But if we think like an atheist things are no different. If we were to take some time to think through our opinions we can see a contradiction easily. 

Lot of times people like me who write to express and idea are attacked socially as not being practical. It is just a talk or a thought is what I get. Actually it is more than a thought. It is a desire to see the world being a better place than what it is. I hope to see a better world around me. I try to think what I can from my little corner in the world. I have grown up accepting people of different cultures because I was taught tolerance in my upbringing. I grew up in a multi-cultural city called Hyderabad where we have people of all languages in India and we have people of all faiths. As a child I had friends from all religions and it never bothered me or my friends. It is only as I grew up that things started taking a different color in the world. By the time I was 22, the WTC tower was attacked and the world changed and everyone started feeling the fear of terror in the world. 

If we just take a step back, it was not that the terror ever left us since the beginning of civilization. It always existed just like bias. Millions were killed in the name of race, in the name of religion and also because of the greed for wealth and power. Yet, it is only now that world which is actually more secure for people than ever is living in fear. The lack of trust is at its epitome and people prefer to be left alone. We are caught in our self inflicted trap called media and mobiles and internet. We prefer virtual reality to reality. We prefer to trust the media than using our own judgement. We would rather call 911 than asking help from a neighbor. We would rather guard our privacy than opening our doors to some company. If few adults are at the school bus, or some place like a kids event, it is normal to feel out of place or left out as people hardly try to make new acquaintances. 

I always wonder why I cannot just be as I am. Why should I force myself to talk in a particular accent in English for the fear of being ridiculed? After all is it not a foreign language for me? Why should I wear western clothes which I am not comfortable with while I look better in clothes from my culture?

Most of the times it is because we do not want those stares from people around. We just dress according to the culture prevalent around us. We just adapt or at least try to adapt as much as we can. It is more tough for those who leave their own country or city to make a living somewhere far away. 

But the bias exists at home too. There is always something to make people go apart. Religion, wealth, culture, caste or creed.

My point is why do we focus so much on what is different. Why can't we focus on what is not different. We all breath the same air, we all share the same mother earth, we look at the same sun and moon. We all are human and we all have the same kind of physical and emotional needs. If only we could contemplate on what is common, we will see how common we are. If you look at a 5 year old from one country and compare them to another 5 year old in another country, they are very much alike in their energy and spirit. It the same common trait in teenagers. And it is same common trait in aged adults too. It appears that the differences originate with adult hood and die a natural death once we get older may be. Our experiences and our mindset is what leads to bias.  Most of the times bias does not actually originate from personal experience. What we have been brainwashed about is what leads to bias.

I would like to conclude by saying this. It is better to think with a broad mind, and lot of love and least amount of bias to feel the real happiness of being alive. The lesser our differences the greater is the joy of togetherness. It is impossible for a lonely soul to be happy despite being extremely rich. We need each other and we need to socialize. We should give right values to our kids, and let them grow up as people who care and share and are not too busy to smile at a stranger. Just this small change can make the world a much better place. 

God All around us

God All Around Us

I have been in this journey for so long, but the search is still on. From over one year I have had this thought to write about something and yet I seemed not to have the right words or the complete truth on how I should put it forward. Finally, it seemed to have dawned on me and I finally decided to jot down the beautiful thought which in my view can help unite with every soul in the Universe.

                          

I have often wondered why am I angry, why am I hurting, why am I not loving always? Why am I not perfect, why am I not consistent? Why does the world elude me from the real truth underneath? Why did I keep making so many attempts to improve and yet I failed time and again? I failed many times. I failed as a child, I failed as a daughter, I failed as a student, I failed as a friend, I failed as a sibling and I failed as a daughter in law and I failed as a wife and I failed as a mother too and the most hurting part is that I have failed as a human too many times.

So, the story of eternal failure finally reached close to conclusion. I enrolled in this program called Discover your self at the temple and they started with a totally different approach to it. They started with this great question. Why do you need proof that there is a creator? Wow a very tough question right. Generally, our approach is show me the proof right. Our intellectual thinking or materialistic education everything teaches us to look for evidence. Or our cultural upbringing might have given us half faith that there is a distant God or a God who is counting your every sin so that he will meet him the day you die, with a proof of why you deserve to be in hell. So profound what this presentation – If there is art (they showed nature in its true splendor) there must be artist, if there is a creature there must have been a creator and if there is an organization there must be an organizer.

I was so spell bound that all my lingering doubts about why God was distant vanished that very second. And then came the next set of twenty thousand questions which I have been wielding at so many unsuspecting souls all around me to get to the answer. But I got curious at least. And this curiosity was thankfully the one which led me in the right direction. I have had experiences of the opposite curiosity as well.

So, over a series of six classes I learnt so much. I am not sure if I captured every thing that was taught but I came out with some knowledge which connected me to what I has been thinking of writing since last Christmas. Since I have graduated in this program, it gave me some courage to put this article out in black and white finally.

The class was a scientific deep dive into the concepts taught in Bhagavad Geetha and Bhagavatam. But in a layman’s language what they taught us is so true. Though we are all are glimpses of God and we all have a bit of God in us, we are far from perfect. So, we all have senses - but the senses are not perfect. Because these senses are not perfect, we are prone to faulty thinking or false beliefs or illusions however you call it. And since we are so easily prone to illusions and those illusions make us to commit mistakes and the mistakes make hide them because of fear of contempt. And when we hide, we are hiding the truth and in the same process we are also hiding from truth.

But who wants a doctor who gives diagnosis but no medicine? But the most beautiful thing that solidified my thought a year ago is this. They said that if we focus on God, we can be cured of these traits present in all humans. I am saying human again because, I have never seen a Dog commit a mortal sin 😊. And this is exactly what I felt around last Christmas. We should use God as a filter. 

But I kept thinking why is God my filter? Is this correct or again an illusion? How crude is this way of presenting? So I finally got confirmation that only through God we can do better, act better, think better and live better. If I were to look at a fellow human with my imperfect eyes, I will only see defects. And thanks to the illusion, I will see several more defects in the person I am focusing on than my own self. But if I were to look at this person with God’s eyes, I would see a very different story altogether. I see another soul who is also God’s creation, who may have defects- but I have my own set of defects too. I will see another lost person, just like me in the constant pursuit of happiness. I might see a person who might have failed just like me. I will see that he or she may not be perfect, but neither am I. I will expect less from others because I will develop patience, because God has been so patient with me. I will give them another chance, because God has given me many chances. I will stand by them because God has stood by me silently without saying a word for all my life. I will not speak a word in judgement since the God who created everyone did not judge. I will be a beholder who sees that everything around is so beautiful and perfect. Simple right, yet so profound.

We cannot stare at the sun, but when we watched solar eclipse, we used filters and we were fine. So, the moment things start looking ugly around you, just put on your God filters. And if possible, always keep them on. Always stay in constant connection with the divine inside. Nothing will look impure, nothing will look scary, nothing will look ugly and nothing hurts again. And if it does hurt, just look up, down, right or left or all around. Look hard, you will find the glimpse of God again or the truth will dawn on you once again. All that you have lost you will find in God and all that you find in this world is also taking you the same way. So beautiful isn’t it? This is the thought or the idea of God all around me.

Thanks to all the friends, teachers and family who have constantly helped me understand this finally.  But please do understand that I might find this truth and lose it again. So, this is just an attempt to lock it black and white so that if I get lost again, I can go look for it in my own words or in my own soul. This is the genetic imprint in all of us. When we really look inside, we will find it. But sometimes we must open our ears and listen and learn. We must open a book to read and learn. And this is not true for our material education which we emphasize so much. This is true for moral or spiritual education. And if you cannot listen or read or learn just open your heart to God. Everything will be taken care of.

One great soul said this on the day of our graduation. The more you know the lesser you see difference between people. The absolute truth always unites, and bias always divides. There is nothing more to life and there is no better truth. If you feel you are different you have lost it. But it is so easy to find it again. Who can create such place or universe where no experiment leads to a total failure. If this birth may not be enough may be another one. But being human is the most privileged birth and through many births the soul has been accumulating the pearls of wisdom and beading them into a delicate fabric of life in this eternal pursuit to reach God. Do not scatter the beads of wisdom when you almost got to the last one you need to complete the necklace. Just complete the necklace if possible and gift it to the creator and attain the ultimate abode of God.

Sarvam Srimannaryarpanamastu 

By Sailaja Chiravuri

Hide and seek of the Soul

Preface:

I have been aching to write about this as the thought came to me one morning as I lamented about my usual worries or loneliness of grief over the loss of both my parents. I had been listening to a lot of devotional music and it was able to bring a lot of solace to my aching heart. Suddenly this idea came flooding like a flash of light which overwhelmed me, as I realized something.  That gave me immense happiness and a feeling as if I had never actually been alone in the first place. There was someone who was always with me.  Here is an attempt to describe the journey of the soul from birth to death as it finds love, happiness and ultimately God.

Why giving our time to our kids is most crucial today more than ever

I am a stay at home mom today. I have got this designation about 3 months back when I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. But I am not new to mother good. I had a first born baby girl whom we lost to a very rare illness when she was about 11 months old. She was just 3 weeks short of her first birthday. Now lot of people I know would stop reading further thinking that this is another grief story. Please give me benefit of doubt. I have never mourned for my loss in public. I always have a smile on my face, despite of not being able to forget our loss. I say our very clearly because it is only me and my spouse who know the sorrow of the loss. We have experienced most pathetic fate in a foreign country, at a very wrong time. It shattered our self worth, people blamed us with various tags, we were branded jealous and unlucky by out own kith and kin many times. People avoided us, for fear of bad luck many times.

Yet we both know what is parenthood well enough. Our loss made us realize how precious childhood is. Each day your baby has new needs and new achievements which are there for you as a parent to relish. There is no compensation good enough to make good for the missed moments of your child's growth. Lot of times I have seen only mothers being held responsible for bringing up a child and Dad being too busy at work making money to run the family. Sometimes both parents work and the child lives in a no man land. They feel lonely and crave for attention of parents. A child only knows his/her parents , only when parents actually play the role of parents. Otherwise from a very early age they become independent and do not trust others.

If we bring up a generation of non-believers and too independent kids we are bound to suffer.

We can only preach what we practice, especially in case of our kids. They mimic most of our acts. An alcoholic cannot bring up a child hoping that his child would be sober. They may in fact be sober, but they will definitely have some developmental struggle to stay perfectly sober in life. Today we hear so many mental and psychological disorders which never existed in the time of our parents. Why ? Just one simple question leads to many answers. First of all we never had so much money earlier so we had lot of time. Children grew up in loving care of parents, grand parents , aunts and uncles , cousins and distant relatives etc. There was an excellent support network for children those days. I am not talking about BC periods I am talking about 1990s.

We must now think seriously. 2012 is the beginning of an end according to Mayan prophecy. I feel it is true. This year shall bring lot of change in thought process of many people. But the most important thing to realize is how we must bring up our kids so that they stay healthy, focused, goal oriented yet loving people as they grow up. There is only one cure to the problems of the world. That is Love more and Hate less. This must happen in every home, every community and every country and every continent. Otherwise if not 2012, some year in 2xxx series may bring doom to our civilization. Our civilization again is human race not a man vs machine race.

People wake up to the call of the year 2012, the year of Renaissance, it is not just the responsibility of the billionaires, it is responsibility of everyone to think for the future of the world. But as a woman from middle class I shall say only the middle class can play the crucial role in bringing about THE CHANGE.

The change according to my definition:

1. Recycle as if your life is at stake.

2. Live each day, making a small contribution to the common good

3. Know and respect your neighbors.

4. Learn and respect your religion

5. Choose humanity before religion always.

6. Love and Respect your self at all times.

7. Give your best time to your kids and family

8. Enjoy every moment as you live.

9.Cherish the glory of Mother Earth.

10. Remember that purpose of religion is to know God.

If everything was perfect in life

Today is Easter, technically spring is over and today is first day of Summer or you can call it as the day of re-incarnation of Christ or start of a new year for many cultures, spread all across the world.

I wonder why I suffer and what is the reason for my grief. I am a loser in all senses, I am not perfect and I never get what I want without struggle. Yet my heart is pure so is my mind. I don't hate anyone, even those who are responsible for my suffering I forgive very easily. I am a perennial loser and also a perennial forgiver.

When I am not well physically and mentally I get lost in thoughts, of a perfect life. A life where friends pick all your calls, nobody is rude to me, days when family is close by to ease my pain. It never happens in my life, so I always drift in thoughts, of my lost forever daughter, far forever Dad, safe in heaven father in law, all the kind people of my life I remember.

When I was 21/22 life looked perfect, I thought I could define my life. I made just one fatal mistake of being eager, in the most important decision of life. I did not know its seriousness, may be I was never in love, but my heart did break at the prospect of complexity of life. Obviously no fool would like me, my confused self induced idealism, but God was watching over me and I found good friends who stood by me, helped me gain my individuality and remain integrated in heart and soul. Unfortunately my Family never understands me , suspect my strength of character and put me in further misery of self-doubt or contempt . Honestly though I am of serious disposition, I am also naive, so no one actually understand much about my feelings, and the reason, why I care about others . So I can say I am unique, obstinate and also transparent.

As I prayed for a soul mate for 2 years, God did answer my call. God himself is my soul mate and this is a fact which I can never deny. I never find a place without God where we are free to commit sins as said in an ancient story. My Husband is alike and together we were bound by fate and love. Neither can tolerate the other's nature, but love binds us. We may seem imperfect, yet we are perfect couple. I wish I knew how to work at being a more presentable couple. But how we look to others is a perfect Sham, in which we carry our hurt egos. Our beautiful first born daughter died right before of eyes, yet we continued to smile for others. We had huge pain and immense grief but we lived for others for about 5 years.

Then God finally blesses us with a Beautiful daughter, as the ultrasound announced her as a girl, my joy was immense. I believed in God always, but having a baby girl again was like dream come true. That was my only wish to God and for 4 years I prayed daily for this miracle. Obviously even this gift came with a package. No one offered enough support, those who came did not come with a great heart, blame game happened further crushing our overburdened hearts.

I was almost insane in grief about the brutality of the world. How inconsiderate people are and how selfish minds can be in their futile wishes of daily life. Live and let live is the code but very few even think of other's pain before their comfort. Or else I would not have ended up in an asylum for mental grievances. But today, the day of Easter I dare to say, We me and my husband are very close to God. His grace I feel on my shoulders as I bow my head and suffer in silence. God almighty is very graceful, he is watching over us and our beautiful daughter who is just 3 months old, but is so precious and so sweet that no pain can make me cry from today.

I have pysicall problems but I shall over come, I have great agony but I shall survive, I feel lonely but I shall win, I might be confused but I shall reign. A Day shall come very soon when the world who laughed and avoided me, shall want to know the key to happiness and I shall over come my problems first before helping others attain happiness. Till that day, silence is my story and type written words are my world.

I can only say one phrase to all sinners of the world " Beware of GOD". And those who dont like this line I shall say " You reap what you sow - so please be God Kind".

Living with Passion for life

Ever since I was a kid, I was branded a rebel. I did not know the meaning of Rebel very well then, but I understood it as being different. I would never mimic others even for fun, I would always speak from my mind. I was about 4 when I realized I wanted to work for making money and money is important for the well being of the family. So here is the saga of a dream come true and dream that crashed and the broken pieces of puzzle making another attempt at career.

I was a philosopher by birth, I knew God as an independent Entity. I did not know the word atheist then. I knew what bias was very early in life and I knew people tend to pretend to make things better for them. I was good at studies naturally inquisitive about life sciences. But I did not have many friends as I was ultra sensitive and would not permit dilution of the morals which were taught at home and school. No wonder my cynical nature and strong commitment to truth and values associated with what we describe as Common good, made me less friendly. After all who wants in teacher in disguise as a friend.

But I enjoyed the struggle and studies and the low earnings and high ambitions. Life without limits would be boring, this I strongly agree now. Within the set limits whatever I achieved was a marvel according to me, so I am proud of myself. And this is not ego. Every Man and woman who are self made brought up with moral values intact have a reason to be proud. I am more proud than others because I am proud of my culture, heritage and wisdom of vedas which are nothing but the decoded Science of life. Now if I am so proud, what do I deserve ? Some time alone, some freedom to write, some time to communicate and inspire, but the most important thing is that I shall live the rest of my life with Passion.

Life is beautiful, the pursuit of happiness is true meaning of life. Loving and being loved, loving and being rejected, friendships and broken ties, relatives and relational thinking all are part of life as a science. And if you want to live life like an artist then there is immense potential in it.

There is so much to do, so much to learn, and so much to compose with the passion of life. Colors of the rainbow, I shall say are just a rough work of 7 colors, if you decode there are innumerable cellular intrinsic images of beautiful life.

Ode to the Night Birds

ODE TO THE NIGHT BIRDS
People say often, each morning brings new hope into life, but the story is different for so many people like me. I am a night bird and I have been so from my child hood. I still remember when I was about six or seven, waking up in the night and lying silently in the bed and staring into the ceiling and just enjoying the quietness of the Night. It is so refreshing; the silence of the night, but many will disagree. My Dad would say mornings are refreshing, but not for me.

Night is the time when the mechanics of the world come to rest. All things that happen during the day come to a stop. It is a different time, everyone just relaxing. Just the thought that it is night brings relief into so many people’s mind. Everyone goes to sleep putting their worried minds to rest. How wonderful is God’s creation! He seems to be giving us opportunity to start fresh each day isn’t it?

I wake up at night sometimes and I feel so restless. I then walk out of bed and do something which I like. Things only I like. No one is around to tell me what I should be doing. I could watch a movie, or listen to a song with my head phones on. I can think without the burdens of the day. I can just breathe in the silence and just be happy. Sleep is precious but occasional night out bring me freedom. They make me think of who I am as a person. Without the society deciding how I should do things or behave. There is no one around to judge, and that means I am what I am.

I talk incessantly and I am tired of friends and family telling me to just shut up. But I do enjoy silence, may be more than anyone else. The undisturbed state of bliss where I am just content being what I am. Time can never come to a standstill but nights can make us feel so. Only a night bird can understand what that means. One can read a book without thinking of anyone ringing your door bell. A housewife can relax and watch a movie without the worry of managing her chores properly. A worried student can regain confidence overnight and people take life changing decisions overnight. So vast are the possibilities of night time that its potential sometimes is under estimated.

I remember times when I and my roommates would just sit together and chat whole night only to go to bed at the crack of dawn pulling the blanket tight over the head. It was fun and we did that often over the weekends. The reality of life turns us into responsible adults but it is the night which sometimes gives us the chance to be carefree isn’t it? And yes, most of us need a break and only God knows what we detest the most about daytime. What I hate most about mornings is the task list of things to be done. The burden of adulthood and all the cares of the world streaming into my mind the moment I open my eyes. For those of you who like having early morning cup of tea or coffee with fresh news this will never make any sense. But I am writing this for those who are like me, those who like waking up and wondering about immense possibilities of the coming tomorrow.

Freedom that is what the nights give me. And I believe everybody wants a lot of it to be happy in life. We like to be on our own, do things which we like, not be disturbed and be peaceful. If one night-out can bring all this then so be it. I suggest this remedy to all who never tasted it - Be a rebel just one Night. Wake up when world sleeps and sleep when the world wakes up.