Why giving our time to our kids is most crucial today more than ever

I am a stay at home mom today. I have got this designation about 3 months back when I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. But I am not new to mother good. I had a first born baby girl whom we lost to a very rare illness when she was about 11 months old. She was just 3 weeks short of her first birthday. Now lot of people I know would stop reading further thinking that this is another grief story. Please give me benefit of doubt. I have never mourned for my loss in public. I always have a smile on my face, despite of not being able to forget our loss. I say our very clearly because it is only me and my spouse who know the sorrow of the loss. We have experienced most pathetic fate in a foreign country, at a very wrong time. It shattered our self worth, people blamed us with various tags, we were branded jealous and unlucky by out own kith and kin many times. People avoided us, for fear of bad luck many times.

Yet we both know what is parenthood well enough. Our loss made us realize how precious childhood is. Each day your baby has new needs and new achievements which are there for you as a parent to relish. There is no compensation good enough to make good for the missed moments of your child's growth. Lot of times I have seen only mothers being held responsible for bringing up a child and Dad being too busy at work making money to run the family. Sometimes both parents work and the child lives in a no man land. They feel lonely and crave for attention of parents. A child only knows his/her parents , only when parents actually play the role of parents. Otherwise from a very early age they become independent and do not trust others.

If we bring up a generation of non-believers and too independent kids we are bound to suffer.

We can only preach what we practice, especially in case of our kids. They mimic most of our acts. An alcoholic cannot bring up a child hoping that his child would be sober. They may in fact be sober, but they will definitely have some developmental struggle to stay perfectly sober in life. Today we hear so many mental and psychological disorders which never existed in the time of our parents. Why ? Just one simple question leads to many answers. First of all we never had so much money earlier so we had lot of time. Children grew up in loving care of parents, grand parents , aunts and uncles , cousins and distant relatives etc. There was an excellent support network for children those days. I am not talking about BC periods I am talking about 1990s.

We must now think seriously. 2012 is the beginning of an end according to Mayan prophecy. I feel it is true. This year shall bring lot of change in thought process of many people. But the most important thing to realize is how we must bring up our kids so that they stay healthy, focused, goal oriented yet loving people as they grow up. There is only one cure to the problems of the world. That is Love more and Hate less. This must happen in every home, every community and every country and every continent. Otherwise if not 2012, some year in 2xxx series may bring doom to our civilization. Our civilization again is human race not a man vs machine race.

People wake up to the call of the year 2012, the year of Renaissance, it is not just the responsibility of the billionaires, it is responsibility of everyone to think for the future of the world. But as a woman from middle class I shall say only the middle class can play the crucial role in bringing about THE CHANGE.

The change according to my definition:

1. Recycle as if your life is at stake.

2. Live each day, making a small contribution to the common good

3. Know and respect your neighbors.

4. Learn and respect your religion

5. Choose humanity before religion always.

6. Love and Respect your self at all times.

7. Give your best time to your kids and family

8. Enjoy every moment as you live.

9.Cherish the glory of Mother Earth.

10. Remember that purpose of religion is to know God.

If everything was perfect in life

Today is Easter, technically spring is over and today is first day of Summer or you can call it as the day of re-incarnation of Christ or start of a new year for many cultures, spread all across the world.

I wonder why I suffer and what is the reason for my grief. I am a loser in all senses, I am not perfect and I never get what I want without struggle. Yet my heart is pure so is my mind. I don't hate anyone, even those who are responsible for my suffering I forgive very easily. I am a perennial loser and also a perennial forgiver.

When I am not well physically and mentally I get lost in thoughts, of a perfect life. A life where friends pick all your calls, nobody is rude to me, days when family is close by to ease my pain. It never happens in my life, so I always drift in thoughts, of my lost forever daughter, far forever Dad, safe in heaven father in law, all the kind people of my life I remember.

When I was 21/22 life looked perfect, I thought I could define my life. I made just one fatal mistake of being eager, in the most important decision of life. I did not know its seriousness, may be I was never in love, but my heart did break at the prospect of complexity of life. Obviously no fool would like me, my confused self induced idealism, but God was watching over me and I found good friends who stood by me, helped me gain my individuality and remain integrated in heart and soul. Unfortunately my Family never understands me , suspect my strength of character and put me in further misery of self-doubt or contempt . Honestly though I am of serious disposition, I am also naive, so no one actually understand much about my feelings, and the reason, why I care about others . So I can say I am unique, obstinate and also transparent.

As I prayed for a soul mate for 2 years, God did answer my call. God himself is my soul mate and this is a fact which I can never deny. I never find a place without God where we are free to commit sins as said in an ancient story. My Husband is alike and together we were bound by fate and love. Neither can tolerate the other's nature, but love binds us. We may seem imperfect, yet we are perfect couple. I wish I knew how to work at being a more presentable couple. But how we look to others is a perfect Sham, in which we carry our hurt egos. Our beautiful first born daughter died right before of eyes, yet we continued to smile for others. We had huge pain and immense grief but we lived for others for about 5 years.

Then God finally blesses us with a Beautiful daughter, as the ultrasound announced her as a girl, my joy was immense. I believed in God always, but having a baby girl again was like dream come true. That was my only wish to God and for 4 years I prayed daily for this miracle. Obviously even this gift came with a package. No one offered enough support, those who came did not come with a great heart, blame game happened further crushing our overburdened hearts.

I was almost insane in grief about the brutality of the world. How inconsiderate people are and how selfish minds can be in their futile wishes of daily life. Live and let live is the code but very few even think of other's pain before their comfort. Or else I would not have ended up in an asylum for mental grievances. But today, the day of Easter I dare to say, We me and my husband are very close to God. His grace I feel on my shoulders as I bow my head and suffer in silence. God almighty is very graceful, he is watching over us and our beautiful daughter who is just 3 months old, but is so precious and so sweet that no pain can make me cry from today.

I have pysicall problems but I shall over come, I have great agony but I shall survive, I feel lonely but I shall win, I might be confused but I shall reign. A Day shall come very soon when the world who laughed and avoided me, shall want to know the key to happiness and I shall over come my problems first before helping others attain happiness. Till that day, silence is my story and type written words are my world.

I can only say one phrase to all sinners of the world " Beware of GOD". And those who dont like this line I shall say " You reap what you sow - so please be God Kind".

Living with Passion for life

Ever since I was a kid, I was branded a rebel. I did not know the meaning of Rebel very well then, but I understood it as being different. I would never mimic others even for fun, I would always speak from my mind. I was about 4 when I realized I wanted to work for making money and money is important for the well being of the family. So here is the saga of a dream come true and dream that crashed and the broken pieces of puzzle making another attempt at career.

I was a philosopher by birth, I knew God as an independent Entity. I did not know the word atheist then. I knew what bias was very early in life and I knew people tend to pretend to make things better for them. I was good at studies naturally inquisitive about life sciences. But I did not have many friends as I was ultra sensitive and would not permit dilution of the morals which were taught at home and school. No wonder my cynical nature and strong commitment to truth and values associated with what we describe as Common good, made me less friendly. After all who wants in teacher in disguise as a friend.

But I enjoyed the struggle and studies and the low earnings and high ambitions. Life without limits would be boring, this I strongly agree now. Within the set limits whatever I achieved was a marvel according to me, so I am proud of myself. And this is not ego. Every Man and woman who are self made brought up with moral values intact have a reason to be proud. I am more proud than others because I am proud of my culture, heritage and wisdom of vedas which are nothing but the decoded Science of life. Now if I am so proud, what do I deserve ? Some time alone, some freedom to write, some time to communicate and inspire, but the most important thing is that I shall live the rest of my life with Passion.

Life is beautiful, the pursuit of happiness is true meaning of life. Loving and being loved, loving and being rejected, friendships and broken ties, relatives and relational thinking all are part of life as a science. And if you want to live life like an artist then there is immense potential in it.

There is so much to do, so much to learn, and so much to compose with the passion of life. Colors of the rainbow, I shall say are just a rough work of 7 colors, if you decode there are innumerable cellular intrinsic images of beautiful life.